our downfall
by ohmygodwhy
Summary: Fifteen facts about the months before sozin's comet arrives —slight s3 au; companion piece to 'our curse'
1. Chapter 1

companion piece/continuation of my old fic 'our curse'

(i'm over here throwing out these atla fics like mad bc it's been so long and i have so many feelings about these kids? anyways, i was looking over my old fics and was struck by more inspiration bc i love dying and being dead.)

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i. Zuko doesn't know how to act around these people, the ones who look at him with something in their eyes he doesn't quite understand ( _suspicion; apprehension; understanding—pity_ ) and doesn't think he wants to understand. He doesn't know how to speak to them; he thinks they probably don't know how to speak to him either.

ii. He wishes he could say he is surprised when he finds that his fire is all but extinguished, nothing more than puffs of hot air and smoky knuckles. He wishes he could say he is surprised, but then he thinks about lightening and about Mai and about Uncle and about flames and knows that whatever is driving him forward now, keeping him going, it's not the anger that was there before.

iii. They meet the dragons. He and the Avatar—Aang, he reminds himself. This boy is twelve and he has a name. He and this twelve year old Aang meet the dragons. It is beautiful, and it is sad, and he wonders why they choose to show him their truths instead of burning him up like he deserves.

iv. ( _This is impossible,_ he had thought in disbelief when he saw them, _because the last dragon is dead._ The Dragon of the West was the last one, and he is gone.)

v. He dreams about it. Sometimes, in his dreams, Uncle turns and looks at him, and his eyes are cold with _betrayal hurt disappointment hatred,_ and he says _look what you've done_ , without opening his mouth. Other time, he turns and looks at him, and he bleeds forgiveness.

vi. He always wakes up in a cold sweat either way, panic and shame and terror all twisted up and stuck in his throat. He digs a hand in his hair and pulls to keep himself from falling to pieces. He doesn't fall asleep for the rest of the night.

vii. Sokka wants to go be a hero and save his father from the most heavily fortified prison in the whole damn Fire Nation. ( _You never think these things through_ , Uncle says in the back of his mind, and Zuko insists on going with him. He knows what can happen when you jump headfirst into situations you can't control with no one there to back you up.)

vii. They find his dad. Zuko feels something sharp and bitter whenever he sees them talk or laugh or elbow each other in the ribs, and has to look away.

viii. Toph, the earthbender girl, sits down next to him one day, dangling his feet over the edge of the temple floor. She says, "I had tea with him once. And he gave me some really good advice." Zuko says, "He always did have a thing for drinking tea with strangers." She pauses for a long time before she says, "He was worried about you, you know. He cared about you a lot." Zuko swallows hard and closes his eyes and says "I know." and wants to throw up.

ix. Toph does not look at him with suspicion apprehension betrayal— _understanding_ , yes. And she never looks quite at him, because she can't, but she feels him holding back yells at night, and she understands.

x. Katara takes a long time to come around. She is stubborn and she is angry and she is strong—so very strong when she drops her arms and leaves the man who killed her mother trembling in the dirt. Zuko doesn't think he would have that strength, if it were him.

xi. "But I'm ready to forgive you," she says, and he wants to cry. Forgiveness is so much, and so new, and something he _doesn't deserve will never deserve_. Katara looks at him with big compassionate eyes, and she understands.

xii. Aang is mastering Zuko's element far quicker than Zuko—or even Azula—ever did. But he is twelve, he doesn't concentrate, and every time he smiles, it feels like an apology. Aang, Zuko thinks, is not one to last long in this world.

xiii. The play makes him want to curl up and die, but at least—thank the goddamn sprits—Uncle didn't burn. Zuko did, but he thinks that's the way it should have been. He thinks that's the way it might be, soon.

xiv. Zuko places five tiny, flickering balls of fire along Aang's shoulders ( _Katara, Sokka, Toph, Suki, Uncle—not one for himself_ ) as he sits, meditating in the early morning sunlight. He leaves one final, tiny flame to rest on top of his head, right on the tip of the arrowhead, and thinks: and this one is you.

xv. He thinks: this boy is twelve, and young, and going to die, and—of course, of course, just like before—there is nothing I can do to stop it.

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happy halloween be safe eat hella candy


	2. Chapter 2

? ? ? ? ? it's Way Too Late and i love dying and being dead and didn't wanna post a whole new fic so just decided to add to this one (also, side note: since they never met up w/ the white lotus again zuko and katara never went to fight azula, etc)

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Fifteen facts about the end of the world.

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i. They do not win the war. There are six of them, and they are children, and they do not win the war.

ii. Aang disappeared the two nights before the end of the world. Some small pathetic part of Zuko thinks it would be better if he stayed missing, because then he wouldn't have to die. But Aang is not that kind of person, though, no matter his personal feelings about murder for the sake of the world, and so he shows up, standing tall and confident and so so young.

iii. Zuko watches, and thinks that Aang is the kind of boy who will die with a smile on his face and hope in his heart. Aang is the kind of boy who will die.

iv. Zuko watches, and thinks that Ozai is the kind of man who would kill his own son, kill his own brother. Ozai is the kind of man who will kill.

v. Ozai is the kind of man who kills. The Avatar fights; the Avatar nearly wins. But Ozai is the kind of man who kills.

vi. Everything happens quickly after that.

vii. One of the blimps stutters and crashes into another, weakened by their assault; Katara is yelling and Suki is slipping over the railing and Suki is falling and Toph and Zuko have to work together to keep Sokka from jumping after her.

viii. And Zuko had known, he had _known_ —the dragons are dead; the world is lost. (The dragons are alive, but not the one they need.)

ix. They flee (Katara is yelling about how they need to finish the job _now_ and that Aang isn't _dead_ he can't be _dead_ we have to go _check_ ). They manage to take control of one of the failing blimps and retreat. And Katara is crying and Toph is shaking and Sokka is quiet as he steers. Zuko is very very still, tired, nails digging into his opposite palm to keep quiet.

x. The dragons are dead. The Avatar is gone.

xi. The Fire Lord's—the Phoenix King's, destroyer of worlds, Avatar killer, child killer, monster's—wrath sweeps across the Earth Kingdom.

xii. Zuko thinks about their tea shop in Ba Sing Se and the girl he went on a date with and Mai hiding behind her sleeves and Uncle showing him how to play Pai Sho and his mother leaving him and the last airbender dancing with the last dragons, and finds himself, very very quietly, crying.

xiii. Toph is the one to eventually ask "What do we do now?" and for the first time since Zuko has met her, she sounds exactly like the twelve year old she is, young and scared and utterly exhausted.

xiv. "Hide," one of them says; it doesn't matter who, "Survive. The world is ending. We have to find a way to survive in the new one."

xv. The dragons are dead. The Avatar is gone. They do not win the war.


End file.
